There are two moments I wish to recap on in my life:
On Tuesday night, the eve of Anzac day, I adventured into the heart of my city. I have noticed that my heart has been sick and sad and it was time that I put some ointment on it. "God, what do I need to do see my heart heal?". He whispered, "What you love." So I did. My dear friend and I went into the city, camera in hand. We spied on the people bustling by. We were entertained by the various buskers on the street.
One man that caught my attention will forever be imprinted in my mind. It was on Southbank, by the Yarra River. Lights reflecting on the water decorated the atmosphere. And there he was, sitting on the bench, microphone plugged in and guitar in hand. Singing sweet love songs. Husky voice. A voice that could melt a heart in a moment. Tunes echoed down the road. It was bliss. I stood there amazed by his art for quite some time. And as each song ended he would look up, smile at me, and begin another. But as he sang, I could feel something work in my heart. I could feel hope and peace. And, despite what the man was singing, I could feel the sweet glorious presence of God. His comforting arms around me. His quiet words of encouragement. He did a work in me that night.
God is faithful. God is my provider. A test that I am facing at the moment is to trust God with my finances. Lack of finances and moving out of home has taken me to a new arena of faith levels. Here is a Scripture that God has been speaking to me:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
So I have been standing on that and wanting to walk in that. Due to some circumstances, my last weeks budget did not include food. I had some bills to pay, and I refuse to be in debt. So, I went without food trusting God to provide. And He did. Not a day went by that I didn't have an empty belly filled. Anyways, in my carefully planned budget I had some money left over for an upcoming bill. Ofcourse, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me to give that money away.
"But God! I need that."
"No but God... I really really need that."
Do you not know that I supply all of your needs? Trust Me.
So with eyes squeezed shut, I stepped out into the unknown and gave up that money. And sure enough, the Lord did provide! I opened up my internet banking today and staring wildly at me was a deposit of $200. Transaction details: Bank of Heaven. More than enough.
It was then that I TRULY really UNDERSTOOD that God is my provider. And He is not a liar.