Glory At War:


Name: Samantha Louise
Home: Vancouver, Canada
About Me: The.Earth.Diet
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Thursday, October 18, 2007
Kit-kat obsession.
You'd think I'd be fat with all the Kit Kats that I eat. I guess you could say it's an obsession. Or maybe it's just an addiction, in that, if I don't consume my daily Kit-kat then I get the shakes.

And Diet-Coke. Yes, Diet-Coke is still on my list of priorities. I love to down a Kit-kat with that ice cold Diet-Coke running down my throat.

At least my addiction and obsession isn't heiroin. Or alcohol. Or any other drug, for that matter. Man, everyday I work with people who have allowed drugs and alcohol to rule their lives. I've seen how it affects them, I've seen how it kills them. Steals their joy. They become so dependent on them, that they forget all rules, forget all morals- they'd do anything they could for their next hit.

Often at a night time, I'd jump in my car and go for a prayer-drive. So many times I've found tears streaming down my face. I question God, "Why have you chosen me to work with these people?"

The cry of my heart is for God to release more faith. Because, I see these people with their problems, alot of them with mental health issues.. I see their lives. Bottom of society. No hope. The ones that everybody else has given up on. It's a temptation at times to just think... Well, I can't bebothered. Who cares? I want a nice easy life and deal with nice easy people.

But no. God has placed me here. And He has placed a passion and a cry in my heart. Even when I just don't have the energy to keep on going, He'll keep on pushing me. And He keeps showing me. He shows me who these people really are, who they were supposed to be before the demon of drugs took over. Or mental illness. He shows me His love for them, and He opens my eyes and allows me to see the life that they can live.

That's what keeps me going.

If they don't want to dream for themselves, I'll dream for them. I'll dream the dreams that God wants them to see. And I'll pray. Prayer is the key. How often have we seen social workers work with these people but see no true change? No true transformation. It's a circle.. it keeps going and going and going.

I'm tired of the circle. I'm tired of seeing no change. I'm not prepared to just work with a person for a length amount of time and to not see anything change in their lives... Sure, maybe they'll have housing and clothes. But how long will that last before their demons destroy their lives again?

Prayer is the key. Prayer is the answer. It's only Jesus who is going to break the circle.

So it's Jesus who I will bring to them.

posted by Samantha Louise 12:53 PM   2 comments
  • At October 19, 2007 at 1:47:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Chris said…

    I'm hoping you don't mind me asking, but what do you define as an addiction? I'm not trying to make this messier than it is, rather trying to get at the root of assumptions. I (and every other person I know) can't go without food ... so is that an addiction? Or is the addiction broken by fasting, knowing we don't depend on food for its emotional qualities, but on God? What qualifies something as an addiction?

  • At October 22, 2007 at 10:29:00 PM GMT+10, Anonymous Paul said…

    an addiction would be something that is not necessary for survival, but is desired so strongly that it exceeds the person's capacity to choose not have it.

    Go Sam!


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Thursday, October 11, 2007
Today I woke up at 6:05am with the sun beaming through my window, warmly planting itself on my right cheek. For the first time in... forever.. I woke up feeling full of energy and life. After battling through for the past few months, not knowing if I was going to survive, I woke up feeling like today was a new day. So I rolled out of bed and decided to begin my new journey of a new life by running.
I haven't ran in ages. In fact, I think today may have been a first. But I ran around my neighbourhood, through the parks, the trees. It was beautiful. Spring, I love it.

As I ran and felt my heart pounding through my chest, I could feel a weight drop off my shoulders. A weight that I have been carrying for too long. I felt joy surge through me. The Holy Spirit spoke to me, and it was a beautiful morning.

The past few months have not been in vain. I've been walking through a testing season, and having to take a look at myself. There was so much in my heart that I needed to change. It hurt. But God has been by my side all the way through it.

Tomorrow morning, I think I might go for a run again.
posted by Samantha Louise 8:42 AM   5 comments
  • At October 11, 2007 at 9:38:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Sue said…

    Hey Samantha

    I have been enjoying your posts and your walk. I completely empathise with your season of brokenness and being consumed by the fire. It burns. I look forward to seeing what he has birthed in you at this time come out on your blog pages :)

  • At October 11, 2007 at 1:35:00 PM GMT+10, Anonymous mike said…


    Welcome back! I have been worried about you, but had no way to check on you....glad you are ok.

    How can I pray for you? What's been going on?? What can we do to help?

    Your brother in Christ,

  • At October 12, 2007 at 5:43:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger mutating missionary said…

    Yes, I agree with Mike. And since he was my pastor for many years when I lived in the USA and I guess as my supporting church even now - I know his questions are out of true concern. Ich auch. I am thankful that you are seeing the skies painted by our Lord once again. He holds tight to His children.

  • At October 12, 2007 at 11:35:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Littlesteph said…

    I really enjoy reading your posts, Sammy :) I am really glad you posted again. Hang in there. I feel that we go through stages, so that God can build us into the person He wants us to be for the next stage, and you just entered your next stage :)

    I hope life brings you sunshine and butterflies and revelations and blessings!

  • At October 12, 2007 at 11:51:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Littlesteph said…

    I found this and wanted to share:
    Jeremiah 29:11
    For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

    Blessings your way, Sammy :)


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