 You'd think I'd be fat with all the Kit Kats that I eat. I guess you could say it's an obsession. Or maybe it's just an addiction, in that, if I don't consume my daily Kit-kat then I get the shakes.
And Diet-Coke. Yes, Diet-Coke is still on my list of priorities. I love to down a Kit-kat with that ice cold Diet-Coke running down my throat.
At least my addiction and obsession isn't heiroin. Or alcohol. Or any other drug, for that matter. Man, everyday I work with people who have allowed drugs and alcohol to rule their lives. I've seen how it affects them, I've seen how it kills them. Steals their joy. They become so dependent on them, that they forget all rules, forget all morals- they'd do anything they could for their next hit.
Often at a night time, I'd jump in my car and go for a prayer-drive. So many times I've found tears streaming down my face. I question God, "Why have you chosen me to work with these people?"
The cry of my heart is for God to release more faith. Because, I see these people with their problems, alot of them with mental health issues.. I see their lives. Bottom of society. No hope. The ones that everybody else has given up on. It's a temptation at times to just think... Well, I can't bebothered. Who cares? I want a nice easy life and deal with nice easy people.
But no. God has placed me here. And He has placed a passion and a cry in my heart. Even when I just don't have the energy to keep on going, He'll keep on pushing me. And He keeps showing me. He shows me who these people really are, who they were supposed to be before the demon of drugs took over. Or mental illness. He shows me His love for them, and He opens my eyes and allows me to see the life that they can live.
That's what keeps me going.
If they don't want to dream for themselves, I'll dream for them. I'll dream the dreams that God wants them to see. And I'll pray. Prayer is the key. How often have we seen social workers work with these people but see no true change? No true transformation. It's a circle.. it keeps going and going and going.
I'm tired of the circle. I'm tired of seeing no change. I'm not prepared to just work with a person for a length amount of time and to not see anything change in their lives... Sure, maybe they'll have housing and clothes. But how long will that last before their demons destroy their lives again?
Prayer is the key. Prayer is the answer. It's only Jesus who is going to break the circle.
So it's Jesus who I will bring to them.
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I'm hoping you don't mind me asking, but what do you define as an addiction? I'm not trying to make this messier than it is, rather trying to get at the root of assumptions. I (and every other person I know) can't go without food ... so is that an addiction? Or is the addiction broken by fasting, knowing we don't depend on food for its emotional qualities, but on God? What qualifies something as an addiction?