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Thursday, August 30, 2007
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My Birthday tears
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On the eve of my birthday I spent it in my car crying. I was about to drive home and then all of a sudden I began to bawl. Not just bawl, but wail. It was groanings from deep inside of me. The tears just kept on coming. I sat in my car for about a hour before I was able to drive. It was the most heart wrenching cry I have ever had. But God released so much and I could feel His arms wrapped around me. My heart is breaking, but He is there restoring it. As I whimpered I prayed, "Why God? Please... take this from me... take this from me... don't let me walk through this... again... But God, HAVE YOU WAY. Do what YOU WANT. Don't do what I want. Do what YOU WANT. If you want me to walk in the fire, then I will, but PLEASE GOD, I need Your strength and grace to do so."
Besides that... today has been a wonderful day. God blessed me so much! And I couldn't think of any other way to spend my birthday than to hang with those who live on the streets. I'm still at work and don't finish until late tonight. There is an aboriginal boy who is wanting to see me tonight as we do street outreach. He told me that for my birthday I can become aboriginal like him.
Anyways, happy birthday to me!
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posted by Samantha Louise
5:00 PM
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That's awesome that you could become aboriginal - you have always wanted that!
Happy birthday Sam! Hope it was a great day and that you got heaps of massive presents, like havana's, hoodies and homeless people.
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Happy Birthday from Texas, Sam! Hope you have a great day. Whatever your trial God will walk with you. We are praying for you.
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Happy Birthday Sam! Miss hearing from you hun!!!
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Happy Birthday Warrior Princess!!!
I remember those crying times... they're no fun in the process, but boy are they awesome for the soul!
It's encouraging to see you continually growing. If there is a dam inside you, God won't let the water rush out until you're ready ;) And even then, he will put a barrier on the water, so you won't have to deal with more than you can handle at that time ;)
WooHoo Sammy! :)
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Awwww ^_^ Happy Birthday Sammy!!
I hope you ate lots of cake and have a great night :)
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Tuesday, August 28, 2007
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I thought he was dead.
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The past week I have been grieving the death of a man who never died. I guess now, I understand how the disciples would have felt when Jesus was crucified. They believed he was the King, they had full faith in Him, yet in the natural Jesus died and that was that. I'm sure that disappointment, discouragement and a whole lot of other feelings would had been their friend at that moment.
That's how I had been feeling. Disappointment. Discouragement. Hurt. Bewildered. Believing that Jesus was the resurrecting life, yet watching a man die before my eyes. Grief overwhelmed me as I left the Intensive Care Unit not having seen my prayers answered and being told that the life support machine would be turned off. And that is what I was told. That he had passed away. So for the past week I have shed my tears and went on with the grieving process. Questioning what it was in my life that prevented the hand of God to move in this mans body?
Yet, an unexpectant turn happened. It blows my mind still. I was just told that he isn't dead. He is alive. Right before the pulled the support machine, he began to respond.
So, today, I went back to ICU to see him. He was in bed, no longer in a coma. He was able to squeeze my hand. Open his eyes. Move his body. He is still sick, and has a machine that helps him breathe, and in alot of pain, but there has been so much improvement it is incredible!
God is so so so wonderful.
Next time, I will keep believing and I will not lose faith when it seems all is dead. |
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posted by Samantha Louise
9:09 AM
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It is nothing in your life that would stop God from healing a man. Maybe God is just finding where the limit of your faith is, and giving it a poke ;)
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And, dear Sam....you don't know when each one has used up his days (Psalm 139:16). It may have been time for him to go, obviously not, so now what does God want to do with him? And I agree with Paul- your faith is not the issue. We have a wonderful God involved in all of this too....so you pray, and trust HIM to work.
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Monday, August 27, 2007
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I came for food...but I found Jesus.
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I find it amazing that in my weakness His strength really is perfected. It blows me away that it is in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9) I've been meditating on this Scripture for over a month now, and it has only really just began to hit me. The other night I felt to listen to a preaching CD. So I do. It was on 2 Corinthians 12:9. Later on as I was in a deep sleep the Holy Spirit wakes me up. It's 3am. I ask the Lord "Why is it that you have woken me up?", and He says to me "Heidi Baker." Now, I haven't really heard too much about Heidi Baker, the name has been mentioned a few times, but other than that I knew nothing of her. I say, "What about her?". The Holy Spirit says, "You will live a lifestyle that she has lived."
So the next day curiosity gripped me in a real way and I do a google search on Heidi Baker. What's the first thing I read of hers? Living out 2 Corinthians 12:9. What a slap in the face. I'm pretty sure God is trying to tell me something here.
Anyways, on friday I felt my weakest and at my most empty. I felt like I had nothing to give. Yet, in my weakness God was able to move in strength and power. A man came in, drug affected, seeking food. But by the end of the conversation, he is weeping, God gave us favour to find him a place to stay, he commits his heart to Jesus, God takes the drugs out of his system in an instant... and he looks at us with tears in his eyes and says, "I came here searching for food, but I'm leaving with so much more. I found Jesus." I'm excited to see where God will take him. He is keen to get into Teen Challenge. I'm so in awe!
I had nothing to give of myself. Yet, it was in this infirmity that the power of Christ was able to move. |
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posted by Samantha Louise
2:08 PM
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Perhaps you mean "I had nothing of myself get in His way" :)
Thank you for sharing another faith-building story. I join you in praising God!
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Amazing! I was google searching my name when I came across your blog! Just an awesome story! In our weakness he is strongest!
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Sam... get the DVD "MAMA HEIDI"!!!! You won't regret it! :) It's in Koorong ;)
Once you hear the name Heidi Baker, you never forget it! ;)
Luv ya sis!
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007
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Aids man walks.
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In about 45 minutes I will be walking into the Intensive Care Unit. One of the clients from work was hit by a taxi and he is in a coma. Tomorrow the doctors plan on turning off the life support machine. I'm not sure how I feel. I'm going to pray for him and pray for a miracle. We'll see what happens.
Last week when I went into the hospital to see him I was unable to go in as the nurses were busy. I'm turning to leave the ICU and there is a young man in a wheelchair, looking very upset. "Excuse me..." He says. "I've been looking for a hospital chaplain all day... I can't find one... Can I talk to you?"
"Uh... sure... yes that's fine." I say, looking at my co-worker. We take the man into a quiet room next door. He sits there drowning in his own tears as he tells us his situation. Dying of Aids. Only a few days to live. And how guilty he feels for screwing up his daughters life.
So we prayed for him and prayed that God would take the AIDS away. After talking with him for awhile, him crying and pouring his heart out, he gave his heart to Jesus! Almost immediately you could see a heavy weight lift off his shoulder.
The next day we came back to the hospital to visit him. Strangely, not too long after we had prayed for him, the man discharged himself and walked out of hospital. The dying man. Man in the wheelchair who could barely move.
God is a God of miracles. |
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posted by Samantha Louise
2:10 PM
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God works again! Would be cool if you bump into him a year from now!
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Hey Samantha,
I was wondering whether you would be able to personally sign one of my books, I'd really like that. I can send you one. Is that OK?
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Wow, Sam...you're a celebrity! Noone has every asked me to sign a book....well done!
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Thursday, August 16, 2007
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Bhuddist petrol man.
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His pearly-white teeth were almost glow in the dark. It was his smile that captured me. I turned and looked at this smiley Pakistani BP Petrol service man and asked him, "Why the big smile?" He laughs and says, "I smile because I see you."
"You smile because you see me?" Curiosity rose in my mind.
"Yes." He nods. "I served you a few weeks ago, you are a nice lady. A very nice lady. Always happy. And nice." He tells me in his broken english. Not knowing what to say I skip towards the door, and as I am about to leave the service station I turn back and say, "Jesus loves you!" I cringe at my own corny-ness.
"Wait!" He speaks louder now. "Don't go!" I stop dead in my tracks and turn to look at him. The smile on his face has disappeared. His eyes stare at me quizzically. "What did you say?" He asks quietly.
I take a few steps towards him and pause. "I said... Jesus loves you."
Silence.
"I am bhuddist." He tells me. "But.... p-p-please... tell me about Jesus."
Immediately I felt my spirit leap. I walk back towards the counter, stare into his face and say, "You want me to tell you about Jesus? He is the Truth. Are you prepared for me to tell you that bhuddism is wrong?"
"Yes.. please tell me."
So late last night, when all I really wanted to do was go home and be in bed, the Holy Spirit interrupts the night and leads me to this bhuddist man. We stood by the counter as I shared the Word with him and shared who Jesus was.
After sharing he stares at me and says, "I want to meet Jesus. I want to know him. Will you introduce me to him?"
Right there and then, in the middle of the petrol station, we prayed and he accepted Jesus into his heart. The presence of God was so strong and so thick, and the man was so hungry, that he also received the baptism in the Holy Spirit. And as he cried he lifted up his hands and declared to heaven, "Jesus I love you. Jesus I want to know you. Jesus, I am sorry. Jesus, speak to me. Jesus, I reject bhuddism. I cut all ties to bhuddhism. No more. No more. All I want is you."
Tears streamed down my face as I watched this man pray from his heart. Pray in truth. Pray in humility.
"Do you have a Bible?" I ask him.
He looks at me confused. "What is a Bible?" It was then and there that I was hit with reality. In Ecc 3 it says that eternity is in the hearts of all men. This man knew nothing about the King but as soon as he sensed the presence of God and was hit with the truth of Jesus... he knew that it was the way, truth, the life. It clicked. Made sense. In his human understanding and knowledge he knows nothing... but what I carried and what I shared sat perfectly in his spirit.
I called my church today and arranged for a guy to follow this man up. I'm so excited to watch him grow in the Lord!
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posted by Samantha Louise
4:56 PM
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Praise God. Wow he is powerful. That is such an exciting story Sam thanks for sharing. Your boldness and simplicity is beautiful.
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Oh, my goodness Sam! you might bump into walls, and slip over a lot, but hey look at the flip side ;) We all need more of these type of accidents!
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Preach it, sister! What a great story! Thanks for being available for God to use you, and for being bold enough to be "corny". Watching God work is exciting.
When you see your friend again tell him that a brother in Christ in Texas says, "welcome to the family, I look forward to meeting you in heaven!"
Thanks for the wonderfully uplifting words!
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Sam,
by the way, I mentioned you in my blog in a piece called "celebrating weakness", also linked to you.
Thanks for the inspiration.
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Monday, August 6, 2007
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Seasons
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It is very important to understand and know the season that you are walking in. What is the current season of your life?
For me, with the season I'm walking in, the Scripture that is ringing true to me and encouraging me is 2 Corinthians 12:9. Read it. It is good.
I haven't wrote in this for awhile, and man, I wish I had more time to... Because I have so many stories to share!!!
I have to go now.
Remember: 2 Corinthians 12:9.
It is good. |
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posted by Samantha Louise
7:32 PM
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That is a good Scripture :)
My seasonal scripture is John 5:19.
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Happy Birthday Sam!