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Saturday, January 27, 2007
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Party.
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Lee Denim hat on head, blonde streaked hair tied roughly to the side, sun-kissed face, dazzling eyes, glossed lips. Hooped earings, long necklace, fingers ring-fulled. One-teaspoon singlet loosely fit, blue skinny legged jeans, black Australia Havaiana's on feet. Coco-nut butter on skin and a spray of Ralph Lauren perfume.
Pained heart covered. Plastered smile. Ready to go.
Don't let anybody see the hurt, don't let anybody know what is going on. Have a good time, laugh at the jokes, say a few jokes of your own. Smile, smile, smile. Hug your friends, but whatever you do- hide the pain.
One hour into the party I was ready to go home. I couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't handle the questions, I couldn't handle the pretending. Normally, I'm a joyful person. Happy. Never defeated. But last night, it felt like everything was getting to me. The icing on the cake was when one of my friends go "Hey, how are you!"
And I go, "Great thanks!"
And he goes, "No you're not."
Again, I go "Yes I am!"
And he goes, "But I heard what happened."
And my reaction is, "Shut-up man."
It's time to leave, time to leave the party. Get out of there. Stop pretending. Run away. I'm walking to my car, keys in hand, plastic smile on face, teared-filled eyes behind sunglasses. Keys in door, unlock it, jump in, escape from pretend world and be free to be real.
"Don't leave."
Oh-no. This always happens, right at the point where I feel like I'm nothing. Where I can do nothing. Where there is nothing of me. Holy Spirit always speaks, always prods, always pushes. He knows what is best, always knows, always will.
"Go back and speak to her..." I'm standing at my car as the Holy Spirit begins to un-veil truth to my eyes. Sharing secrets of a friends heart. He wants me to go back and encourage her. Encourage. Me. The one who wants to run away. He chooses me of all people to encourage her.
But, this isn't about me... is it? Lay your life down. Sacrifice. Put others first. And most importantly, obey.
I pull the keys out of my car, heart is racing. Wiping tears away from eyes. And I run. This time, I run back to the party, back to the house, back to the place full of people.
I run past friends, I run past the food, I run to where she is. Sit down, and I share. Share my heart, share the word, share what I see.
We then talk for a few hours after, encouraging one another. I encourage her, and she encourages me. Testimonies of God's awesome power. Testimonies of those who decided to stand and fight.
I'm now walking back to my car, the last to leave the party. Smile on my face, smile in my eyes, smile in my heart. My spirit is lifted, and I have a skip to my walk.
I love You God, thank-you for last night. Thank-you for showing me.Labels: Fashion, Friends, Used by God |
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posted by Samantha Louise
12:29 AM
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"I heard what happened"
Oh yay, I bet that excited you! I too would run when confronted with the realisation that people had talked about me. It's called gossip. I think it's great that God showed you past that. People often gossip because of their own inadequacies. So she probably did need your encouragement!
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thats so amazing :)
(sorry that i dont have something more substantial to say, but sometimes, words arent needed, right? ^^;
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"I heard what happened"
Oh yay, I bet that excited you! I too would run when confronted with the realisation that people had talked about me. It's called gossip. I think it's great that God showed you past that. People often gossip because of their own inadequacies. So she probably did need your encouragement!