| Who does God say you are?
Or, what do you feel God says about You?
I remember a time when God was stirring my heart and speaking to me about what He thinks of me. He was teaching me that He knew me before I was born, that I was chosen, apointed, that I had a purpose and a plan. He was also teaching me about the meaning of my name. I've decided I want to start using my first name on this. So here it is, my first name is Samantha and my middle name is Louise.
Anyways, God was teaching me how He chose my names for me, that there was a reason behind it. Samantha means "hearer of God's voice" and Louise means "Glory at War" or "Famous Warrior". I was so excited to learn all of this! My whole life I had such a bad image on myself, I always thought myself to be 'different' or a bit 'weird'. But as God began to reveal His thoughts of me, my self-image changed and I began to walk different and talk different. No longer would I make fun of myself but I would walk with my head held high knowing that God was my daddy, I was His princess, and heck... I was a famous warrior who heard God's voice.
As these revelations began to unfold I remember one day receiving a package in the mail. I never
receive packages in the mail! Ofcourse I was excited. I grabbed the package, ran into my room, closed the door behind me and tore the package wrapping apart. My eyes were delighted to be admiring a new book in my hand, The Heavenly Man
by Brother Yun. I had been wanting this book for months and finally
I received it! Opening the front cover I notice that inscripted in beautiful black fountain ink was a letter from a good friend of mine. He wrote that he felt to send me this book, that he wanted to bless me and encourage me, that he loved me as a sister and it was just beautiful. But I could not help but stare at how he greeted me. Rather than use my first name, Hearer of God's Voice
, he addressed me with my old internet alias as a joke. It was along the lines of Weird Girl
. You see, when I chose this name I did not think highly of myself, my thoughts of myself were not God thoughts. It was ironic because the book arrived in my hands the very week that God was teaching me who I was
Before I knew it tears were stinging my eyes. They began to stream down my face as I was once again reminded I'm a weird girl. I cried and cried and I was also embarrassed that I once called myself that. Because I knew, only now, that that wasn't who I am, that isn't who God says I am.
Two days later I was having lunch with a friend and we were talking about the book The Heavenly Man
. With great excitement I exclaimed that I received this book in the mail! I pulled it out of my bag to show him but was then reminded of being labled "weird girl". Hesitantly I took the book, not wanting my friend to see what was in the front cover. Opening the front cover I peered once again to see the words that were written. I read the words with a mixture of confusion, horror, excitement, and overwhelming praise.
My eyes were opened wide.
I was shocked.
I choked on my food.
I even fell off my chair in the surprise.
The letter that was written in beautiful black fountain ink had been changed. "Weird girl" greeting no longer existed. There were no smudge marks. It just, disappeared. And in replacement to "weird girl" it now had the words...
Large cursive writing. Black fountain ink. Sam. Hearer of God's voice. With an exclaimation mark to highlight the love that God has for me, to highlight the thoughts that God has for me. Tears once again stung my eyes, not out of embarrassment, but out of love for My Saviour.
Labels: Being with Jesus, Me