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Thursday, April 26, 2007
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Busking and Trusting
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There are two moments I wish to recap on in my life:
Moment 1: On Tuesday night, the eve of Anzac day, I adventured into the heart of my city. I have noticed that my heart has been sick and sad and it was time that I put some ointment on it. "God, what do I need to do see my heart heal?". He whispered, "What you love." So I did. My dear friend and I went into the city, camera in hand. We spied on the people bustling by. We were entertained by the various buskers on the street. One man that caught my attention will forever be imprinted in my mind. It was on Southbank, by the Yarra River. Lights reflecting on the water decorated the atmosphere. And there he was, sitting on the bench, microphone plugged in and guitar in hand. Singing sweet love songs. Husky voice. A voice that could melt a heart in a moment. Tunes echoed down the road. It was bliss. I stood there amazed by his art for quite some time. And as each song ended he would look up, smile at me, and begin another. But as he sang, I could feel something work in my heart. I could feel hope and peace. And, despite what the man was singing, I could feel the sweet glorious presence of God. His comforting arms around me. His quiet words of encouragement. He did a work in me that night.
Moment 2:
God is faithful. God is my provider. A test that I am facing at the moment is to trust God with my finances. Lack of finances and moving out of home has taken me to a new arena of faith levels. Here is a Scripture that God has been speaking to me:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:24-35
So I have been standing on that and wanting to walk in that. Due to some circumstances, my last weeks budget did not include food. I had some bills to pay, and I refuse to be in debt. So, I went without food trusting God to provide. And He did. Not a day went by that I didn't have an empty belly filled. Anyways, in my carefully planned budget I had some money left over for an upcoming bill. Ofcourse, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me to give that money away.
"But God! I need that."
Trust Me.
"No but God... I really really need that."
Do you not know that I supply all of your needs? Trust Me. So with eyes squeezed shut, I stepped out into the unknown and gave up that money. And sure enough, the Lord did provide! I opened up my internet banking today and staring wildly at me was a deposit of $200. Transaction details: Bank of Heaven. More than enough. It was then that I TRULY really UNDERSTOOD that God is my provider. And He is not a liar. |
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posted by Samantha Louise
4:17 PM
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That's great. "which bank?" Keep daring to trust in God it's a good example.
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these are the moments, aren't they? It's so easy to let fear squash those faith-builders; I'm so glad that you didn't. Thanks for stopping by my blog and for commenting too. I admire YOUR faith!!
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Tuesday, April 24, 2007
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Dead printer.
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 The once buzzing with life printer stood in the office as if dead. It's grey form stood helplessly by the wall, begging for mercy and help. The friends and users of the printer glumly walked by, irritated by it's lack of printing ability and the allowance of their jobs being slowed down.
"Sam!" One of my managers exclaims from his office. "Could you please do something about the printer?" He asks.
With confidence smaller than a tiny seed, I walked across the foyer into the printing area.
"Okay" I think to myself, sucking in deep breaths as I try to scramble with my mind how to fix this problem. "I don't know the first thing about printers..."
"Please hurry..." My manager is exasperated, needing a document within the next few minutes. He explains to me that the printer died late last week and hasn't been resurrected since.
What to do what to do what to do...
I stare dumbly at him. His eyes are closed. Not a sound to be made. Perhaps if I press a button...
Nope, nothing.
What about this button?
Nu-uh. No can do.
Turning my head slightly to the left, I see my manager standing there whimpering as if he was a lost puppy dog.
Not knowing what else to do, I place my hand on the belly of my dead friend and silently pray "God, please let this work."
And immediately the printer springs to life and joyously spits out pieces of paper.
My manager wide eyed stares at me and asks, "How?"
Oohhhhhhh, he responds to prayer. I say. |
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posted by Samantha Louise
4:30 PM
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Sam,
very cute! thanks. you got a smile from me for that one. have a good day.
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Things like that happen to me all the time. Someone asks me to fix something computer-related... I walk up to it and all of a sudden it just works.
All this time I've just been thinking that the people with the printer problems were clueless and there was nothing wrong in the first place that the off/on switch couldn't rectify... but maybe it's the presence of the living God within me scaring the printer into submission.
Who knows.
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You have a good sense of humour, as well as a good sense of God being able to help!
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Hi Sam,
I wanted to say thank you to you too for your blog. I needed to laugh out loud and this entry did that for me.
Your entry about running into christop on the street made me imagine similar scenes in heaven. I love to read biographies of missionaries. I can imagine passing one of them on the streets of heaven and realizing who they are because of the reminisicing they are doing with someone else. "Hey , I know you...." Endless reunions. Fun to imagine anyway.
Are you studying writing or do you just like to write?
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Indigenous Australian
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 Yesterday I did a presentation at uni on Indigenous Australians and the stolen generation. Just a short one, a synopsis of a reading, really. But I was so wrapped up in the emotion of it all and the story of young Warren Braedon. As I stood there talking I felt all this passion boiling within me. By the end of it I had the other students in tears. My voice was shaking as I ended. Afterwards I felt emotionally spent. My tutor was also touched. I felt a bit awkward as just last week she shared her story as an Indigenous Australian. I was a little bit afraid that what I said spoke too closely to her heart. When it comes to Aboriginals I get so fired up, so passionate, so stirred. It does something to my heart strings. I get ashamed of our history. I'm sometimes ashamed to be white Australian. I want to do something, but I don't know what. I don't know if I have the right to do anything. On my way home from uni yesterday I was so lost in my thoughts. I'm not sure if I have found my way out yet. Looking for answers that I don't know if I have. The story of Warren Braedon is such a tragedy. Born in Alice Springs January 4 1973. Murdered in Perth January 4 1992. Just two weeks before he found his people. His land. His mother and father. Identity. Murdered because he was black. I'm asking God... What can I do as a christian, a white Australian christian, to bring peace to our land. Peace to the Indigenous. Hope, love.. ? Talking with two young Aboriginal men the other night at Swanston Street McDonalds. They shared their lives, their fears, their dreams. One of the men, 20 years old, had such a soft and pure heart. Wanting to make it in the world and do good. The other 20 year old man confessed to murder, all in the name of revenge. We have some hurt people out there. |
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posted by Samantha Louise
9:03 AM
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I think one of the big problems is that most Australians who aren't indigenous don't know anyone who is. I think that to begin reconciliation we need to actually get to know each other.
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Talking to them like you did sounds like a good way to start Sam well done.
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Thursday, April 19, 2007
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| I'm in a whirlwind of change. Everything is happening so fast-paced. I need to hold on tight or I'm going to fall off this ride. |
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posted by Samantha Louise
1:10 PM
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You won't fall off ;) You have arms wrapped around you even if you don't feel them... or sometimes they are behind you as support, but not touching you... you are protected :)
Enjoy the ride! ;) You'll look back and smile ;)
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Sam,
I agree with my dear friend, Robyn, enjoy it...I'll be praying for you.
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
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Ferris Wheel Ride
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 The bright lights of the city cheered my spirit. I felt a joy overwhelm me as I walked the streets late at night. Chilled breeze kissing my cheeks. Jacket warmly wrapped around me. We walked and observed the people surrounding us. A young mum pushing a pram, rushing to the station steps. Bustling men having a gathering outside the pub. Youths chasing each other down the road. Homeless man begging for money. My mind wandered as I thought about these people... their lives, their upbringings. Their beliefs, values, interests. Where have they been? What have they done? What are their dreams?
I was caught back into attention as my friend by my side began to exclaim, "Look!!! A ferris wheel!!!". And my heart skipped a beat as I looked to where she pointed. In the middle of Federation Square, there it was. Pink, yellow, blue, green, purple lights dazzled the ride. Going around and around, high into the sky, was a ferris wheel that I wanted to be on.
"Let's go!" I say, quickening my pace. And without hesitation I mutter, "Lord God, if you feel like blessing us tonight. How about a free ferris wheel ride?"
As we reached the destination of the ride, I had quickly forgotten the spur-of-the-moment prayer I uttered. Skipping to the ticket booth we ask the man how much the tickets were. He greets us with a toothless smile and says, "It's 5 bucks per person." Shoulders slumped I respond with a short, "Oh." My friend and I looked at one another and shrugged in defeat. Perhaps another day, another moment, we can enjoy the ferris wheel ride.
Sighing to self, I look at the man with the toothless smile, face that hasn't been shavened, dirty clothes. "So... you like your job?" Thus, begins a 5 minute pleasant conversation with the run-away-farmer now working at the Ferris Wheel ride of Federation Square.
Conversation reaching it's end, we turn around and begin to walk to Swanston St Mc Donalds. About 10 meters away from the ride we hear a loud, "Oi!". Turning around I look to see the man operating the ride. Enthusiastically he is gesturing us to come forward. Looking at him with a confused gaze written across my face, he begins to jump up and down, waving his arms this way and that beckoning us to come towards him.
Without a thought in my walk my friend and I come within ear's length.
"Come on then! Get on. We'll give it to you for free!" He says, smile beaming from his face. Looking towards the toothless run-away-farmer ticket man, I am responded with a "Yes yes it's okay. You can have it for free."
With glee in our hearts, and thanks pouring from our lips we jump aboard the ferris wheel. Around and around we went. Shouting out our blessings!
Look at the lights! Look at the city! Look at the yarra! It's so divine!
Around and around we went again. The man running the ride would laugh and grin as we continued to go around, worth at least two rides worth.
And eventually, it ended. We jumped off the ride. Thanked the men. And they jumped in joy at being able to give a ride for free to two young women.
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posted by Samantha Louise
9:04 AM
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Sam, great post, as usual. What would be your spiritual application of this story? How would you connect it to our walk with God?
Just wondering...
thanks
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"Look at the yarra! It's so divine!"
Umm, I don';t think so - brown perhaps?? ;)
I'm impressed that you got a free ride.
Tell us - does he enjoy his job? Did you expect him to say no?
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Thursday, April 12, 2007
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Checking in.
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 I'm alive and well. It has been a week since I have even looked at this blog. Lack of internet has kept me. I don't really have time to write right now, but I just wanted to say a quick HELLO. I miss writing here.
Over the Easter weekend I moved out of home. I'm loving my new place! It already feels like my home.
It has been a challenging week with God. He is constantly stripping me, exposing things in my heart, and doing a great work in me. It's very humbling. Hard. Humbling. Learning to be at that point where I'm totally surrendered to God and His will...no matter what it is. Perhaps, if inspired, I will write again later today.
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posted by Samantha Louise
11:27 AM
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Congrats on getting a new home! :)
I've got a new internet home too btw. :)
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Hey, I got the picture you asked if you could have back from the exhibition today. Do you want me to post it to you, or do you want to come and get it when you're in town some time? My email is christop[at]gmail[dot]com
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That is mighty impressive Sam! I hope you don't spend all your money on rent.
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Thursday, April 5, 2007
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Finding God... part 4
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The people continued to sing their love to God. My eyes were wide as I watched them pour out their lives before their God. My heart beat loudly in my chest. Nervously I fidgeted with my hands. Tugging at my clothes. Cooly moving my fingers through my hair. Something was happenign to me and I couldn't understand what. All weekend the preacher would stop mid-sentence and declare, "There is someone here who needs to get their life right with Christ!" And each time I felt as though his eyes bore into mine. Surely he didn't mean me, ...did he? But there was no denying anymore what this was doing to me. The world how I knew it was turning upside down. My comfortable existence of curling into a ball of self-hate and self-pity was being shaken. The... love?... that I could feel in this room was messing with me. It felt charged and alive, it made my skin crawl, it made me want to run away. I wasn't used to this. I wasn't sure if I could handle it. But at the same time, it was like a drug- powerful and addictive. One taste of it and it caused a hunger to arise in me. A hunger to want to find life and freedome and love. But how!? How do I get what these people have?
The answer occurred to me as they began to sing a Name with such sweet assurance.
Jesus.
Jesus was the answer. He was the answer.
Suddenly I felt all dizzy, I felt like a blindfold was taken off my eyes. Jesus. Quietly, afraid that somehow the people would hear me above the music, I whispered His Name. Jesus.
The song that was playing came to a soft hum. The singers on stage stood in silence, the keyboard and guitar played softly in the background. I held my breath as I wondered what was about to take place next. And suddenly, as if a violent earthquake erupted, the people began to shout praises. Sing their own song. Tears were being cried. People fell on their knees in surrender.
How do I get to this place? I thought. How do I find Jesus? How do I become one of these?
As if on cue, the people came to a stand still once again. Looking at the stage I watched as one of the singers looked to the heavens, bright eyed, bright smiles, shining... And they begin to sing a song that forever changed the course of my destiny. Here I am waiting... They sing softly. A well of emotions found itself in my throat. Abide in me I pray... Here I am longing... For you...
Was this what it was? A longing? A desperation? A cry of my soul?
Bring me to my knees... May I know Jesus... More and More... The walls broke as they declared this song. I felt as though my heart was breaking, tears crawled its way down my face. Yes, YES! This is what I want! I want to know Jesus more and more...
And with everything I had, with all the strength I could muster, I raised my hands in the air as an act of surrender. Taking a deep breath, I began to sing the next words with all the love and all the meaning and everything that I was. All of me. Die to self.
Come live in me... All my life... My voice broke as I sang. Take over... Come breathe in me...And I will rise.. On Eagles Wings...
And in a moment I felt the love of Christ surge through my body. A heaviness and a depression lifted off my shoulders. Suddenly I felt so light, I felt so peaceful, I felt so... fullfilled. It felt as if I was caked in mud, and I was standing under a waterfall feeling the relief as the mud washed off. But it was on the inside. Where there was hate, I felt a love grow through my bones. Where there was sadness, I felt an indescribable joy leap through my body. A smile formed at my lips, laughter bubbled out of my mouth.
For the first time in years, I felt alive! I felt as though life was worth living. I felt an incredible love to these people and to God. It was the beginning of an adventure... |
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posted by Samantha Louise
9:19 AM
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HI there!
Thank you SO much for dropping by my blog and leaving a comment! Im so honored to have a visitor from Australia! Please come back to visit my blog again..I look forward to hearing from you :)
This was a great post!
And good luck on your move tomorrow!
Your friend (from Canada)
Candy~
:)
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it is thrilling to read your story samantha!! God is writing such a beautiful story with your life...
i hope you have a very happy easter!!!
He is risen!!! :)
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Wednesday, April 4, 2007
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Moving out of home..
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For 20 years I have lived in the same house, same bedroom, same everything. 20 years of memories. Bad memories, good memories, memories that I want to forget, memories I don't ever want to let go of.
My room has seen all the trials, the tears, the joy and the laughter.
I even remember the first day of being at the new home. A 2 year old girl, high hopes high expectations. It's funny what you can remember at such an early age. On my little pink tricycle. Trying so hard to ride behind the moving truck. Dog yapping by my side. My little heart beating fast as I notice the little girl who was my new neighbour. This little girl and I were to begin a friendship that still exists today.
In my room, I remember all the play dates that took place as a young child. Dolls out. Soft-toys out. Imaginery games- playing mother and fathers, Teenager Nutant Ninja Turtles, Cowboys and Indians.
And as I grew older my room changed from the fantasy land of dolls and animals into teenage hood. Depression. Darkness growing. Hiding secrets. Self-harming. Death.
But as miracles took place my room changed from the den of death into the sanctuary of life. Hiding in my closet to read the Bible. Talking with Jesus. Hiding from the fears of the world and embracing into the arms of a Saviour. Everything that meant something took place here.
Finally, at last, I'm moving on. Boxes are being packed. I'm leaving the nest. Do you know how excited I am to be having my own place?
This will be the first time in my life that I can live in a christian household.
I feel like I'm about to go home.
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posted by Samantha Louise
10:03 AM
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GREAT sam :)
You are not going to know yourself :):)
I love ya heaps :):)
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Exciting.
Careful you don't get caught in a Christian ghetto though.
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Congratulations! Trust in God every step of the way!
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Tuesday, April 3, 2007
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New.
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I feel as though I'm about to step into something new. New territory. New ground. The unknown.
Fear tries to creep it's way into me, but I refuse to accept it. It's about a new level of trust. Trust in God. Hold His Hand. Don't let go. Steps of faith... |
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posted by Samantha Louise
11:23 AM
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Just want ya to know I'm thinking of you and love you heaps :)
U rock :):)
Blessings,
Lanna
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That's great. "which bank?" Keep daring to trust in God it's a good example.