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Wednesday, February 28, 2007
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My love...
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 I awoke in a startle. My clothes and bed sheets were clinging to me as I had broken out in a cold sweat. The darkness of the night settled on my heart as the fear and thoughts plagued my mind. My eight-year old heart was beating wildy, out of control. Trying to calm myself I sat up looking around to see if I was safe to leave the haven of my bed.
"Another nightmare," My body whimpered, eyes darting to and fro checking the lurking of the shadows. Fearfully I climbed out of bed afraid of what may jump out at me. Thoughts were teling me I was insane, to turn back, go back to bed, close your eyes and hide! You don't know what's out there! Go back! GO BACK! But a boldness was rising in my heart and I knew that I had to go to the other room, I had to find that book... that precious book... It held the answers. It will help me. There was something about that book. Yellow stained pages and white leather bound cover, golden crisp edges. Dirty, as if the previous owner had handled it everyday, taking it with them whereever they went. The book that I knew held the answers but I didn't know what had once belonged to a distant relative of mine.
At last, I reached the book and I quickly grasped it and hid in the corner of the lounge room. Afraid of who may find me, or what may find me. Hiding in the shadows I gripped the book as if holding on for dear life, I held it close to my heart and not wanting to let it go. Tears freely rolled down my face. The KJV was too difficult for my mind to understand, I fumbled through the pages, trying to find out about this "Jesus" man. But I couldn't find it, instead I continued to hide in the darkness hugging the prized possession hoping that one day I will understand.  Years later I remember arriving home late one night. My heart and head full of questions, thoughts and wonder. Hiding in my closet, afraid of being caught, I grabbed my torch and opened this book I was given that night ready to read the first page. From the first word I was taken to another place, another time. In amazement and adoration I was finally reading about this Jesus. He raised people from the dead? Wow. He healed a blind man? Who was this guy? He was amazing. Woah, he loved that woman, the one who was unfaithful? Unbelievable. My heart fell in love with Jesus and I continued to pour over the words. Suddenly, I felt as if my heart had died. Time had stopped. What was this I was reading? He was being betrayed? PETER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Why are those soldiers taking him? Why are these people ACCUSSING him? Do they realise what He did!? Do they realise how much He LOVED them. He was INNOCENT. Anger gripped me as I continued to read. As quickly as the anger rose up in my heart, a deep sadness set in. I fell on my face and began to cry. They hanged Him on the cross. They killed him. He was dead. My Jesus, the one I was only starting to know about, was dead. I'm not sure how long I sat there crying, unwilling to pick up the book again, but it felt like an eternity.
As the tears subsided I heard a faint voice "Keep on reading....". Wiping my eyes with my sleeve I picked the torch and book up again and continued to read. Hope began to rise. Joy leapt in my throat.
Are you serious?
He... He... r-r-..ro-rose again?
Tears once again poured down my face, not out of pain but out of victory. This Jesus guy, wow, the Son of God. Alive. It was simply amazing.
I love the Word of God. The Word of God is my life source. My food. I devour it. I need it. As you do too. The Word of God is like a Melways to my life. It gives me direction. Answers. We need to know what the Word says, we need to have a love for the Word, we need to stand on the Word.
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posted by Samantha Louise
2:14 PM
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great post. you are a gifted writer and thinker. thank you.
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I grew up in a Uniting Church, which used the Good News version. I can remember the squiggly little drawings that would be interspersed through the pages. Bibles with pictures are cool - you can always understand them.
At least when you hid in the cupboard, God could still see you. I bet His heart leapt as you read about Jesus, what He did, what He accomplished.
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I remember the first time I read Lord of the Rings (yes this will end up being related)! I felt like I had a most precious thing - a story of wonderful adventures that captured me to the extent that I could not put it down. For days unfortunately, as it is a weighty tome. I remember someone saying they were jealous of me reading it for the first time. The way you describe reading the gospel with all the joy, sadness and amazement of a first time reader is wonderful. If only we did not lose the wonder of this incredible and precious gift.
thanks for your post...
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i was reading that and thinking "could she just write that somewhere so i dont ever lose it or forget it" then realized you already have!
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Tuesday, February 27, 2007
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Swimming.
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You know you are a legend when you are contacted by a year 10 kid from your first highschool. They contact you on My Space just to inform you that you are the hero of swimming sports. Oh the honour. The pride. Tears welled in my eyes as I heard the news that I still hold the swimming records of the highschool I was at in year 7. That means, they are now 10 years old. That means, I'm the schools legend.
I feel like running up to all those teachers and the principal who hated me and shove it in their face "HA! SEE! I ROCK!" But no, I will humbly (haha!) accept this and hope that no one else beats my swimming times!
I think that the swimming formed my best memories at that school. I was at the school for primary school and it was short lived in highschool before I realised that if I don't leave now I will have a permanent hate from the teachers. It wasn't hard to win. Swimming was my name, my life, my everything. When I knew that school swimming was coming up I wouldn't be able to sleep at night, for I knew, that I would be champion. How could you not be when you trained 6 days a week, waking up at 4:30 every morning to swim, and then... swimming again after school was out? Before I met God, swimming was my god.
Why did I quit? The weekend I was saved, March 1999, the very first thing God said to me in my new found friendship was "Quit swimming. Don't say goodbye, just leave, don't go back." So ofcourse, I did. My parents almost had a mental case as I arrived home "Hi mUM! I met JeSUs... i quit SWIMMING." They were so upset they sent me to the school counsellor, in fear that I joined a cult. Looking through their eyes I could understand their fear- their daughter goes on a camp after an incredible training session in the pool, excited about the Victorian swim meet that was coming up... only to arrive home claiming to love Jesus and refusing to enter the pools again.
It was years before I understood why God wanted me to quit. Ofcourse, swimming was my god and I had to choose to put God first, but why did He want me to leave just like that? Without any notice? None of it made sense. But last year the horror of it all hit me in the face as I watched television.
My coach was convicted of rape/pedophilia... the incidences occuring 1998-1999, in particular, March 1999. Suddenly I remembered, my hero my coach, had a pattern of favourites. Just before I quit I was becomming his favourite.
It saddens me to hear what had happened and to know that some of my swimming mates were affected, and the swimming community in whole (he was Head Coach of the Australian swimming team). But it also makes me see the wonder of God's grace. What would have happened if I didn't quit? Isn't it amazing that the first thing God says to me was to protect me?
When God speaks, dont' doubt. It may not make sense at the time, but I'm sure in years to come you'll understand what He means.
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posted by Samantha Louise
10:24 AM
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Wow that was a close call! Go God for saving you (in lots of ways!).
No wonder you are so good at surfing.
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Wow, that is amazing to see God's hand on you from the get-go! What a testimony. Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog, btw. :)
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ahhh...yes -- the backstroke U14 champion :P I remember seeing that for many years on the program, hahaha
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Friday, February 23, 2007
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Odour Panel.
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You know when you get a whiff of a scent and it immediately takes you back to some old memories? That happened to me last night. I was driving home and I had the honour of smelling the most disgusting, dirtiest, pungent odour that you could ever come across. If it wasn't for my fantastic driving skills, I'm sure that I could have hit a tree by the shock of the smell. As I continued to drive, once again gaining my breath and the tears forming in my eyes had dispersed, I was met with the horrifying fact that I once knew that smell so very well. It occurred to me that this odour, disgusting-I-want-to-die-odour, was a part of my life for two years.
Yes, that is right, I put up with that smell and many others for the first two years of my life out of highschool.
Why is that? No, I was not some dirty person with no hygeine. Yes, I take showers. Yes, I'm clean. But...
I worked in an odour panel.
Ooohhhhhhhh the memories. The excitment I felt when I first read that newspaper clipping...
Do you have a nose?
If you answered yes, we may have the job for you! Call *********
I, Samantha Louise, would happily walk into that factory.. sign that contract where I never read the fine print, and allowed myself to sniff different things from places such as Australian sewage, the arbituar (I don't know how to spell, but where they slaughter animals), various chimney smokes, and much much more. It was a glorious job, relaxing even. With the blessing of meeting many wonderful people... The lovable Lyn- who would choose to mother me to no end, Mark- the motorcyclist who would then call me for the next four years trying to woo my heart, Tony- whose dream was to leave the odour panel and film a murder mystery, and ofcourse the many other characters who would come in and last only a week or two. Apparently their noses weren't up to scratch.
So what would we do? We'd sit in a booth with two bong-like tubes sticking out of the table. And as the instructor commanded us we would lean our head into each bong and whiff up those smells, cough and splutter at times, and select on an electronic device which tube had the bad air. It was all good, governmentally approved, legal. Gave me the cash to survive at uni. As long as I ignored the upset stomachs, I loved it.
But, it was odd whenever people asked me what I did for a living... "Ohhh yes, I uhh, I'm a professional sniffer!" |
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posted by Samantha Louise
2:48 PM
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Dear samantha louise. What a story. I have never met a professional sniffer before! While your smell sounds yukky, I do love it when a smell will take you back to a place treasured in your memories.
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you definately win the cake on the most interesting job occupation :D
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I think with a job like that, your definitely qualified for youth work. In fact how are the jobs really that different?
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This post brings back memories! Makes me remember your other job.
Can you tell us what the really bad smell was actually from? It isn't the normal smell in Melbourne is it??
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ahhh.... so that was the cause of your stench ;) HAHAHA...joking! Did you buy the book??
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Thursday, February 22, 2007
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Just things...
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Don't you love it when one insignificant detail of your day can change the course of your life? You are walking along, everything is fine, life is great, things are... settled... and then BAM!.. Something so small can effect everything. Unbeknownst (is that even a word? I totally tried sounding smart then) to anyone else, or the culprit of the act, it changes the events that are currently taking place.
It frustrates me, to be honest.
But, at the same time, it is pushing me more and more to keep on running the race, to not give up, to keep on fighting, to keep on resting in HIM, to KNOW Him more. I must Know HIM or I will not survive.
I've tried that road before. Doing things on my own, giving up, not trusting... making stupid choices to satisfy something that only God can satisfy. Not ever again though. No way. Nothing, no situation, no problem, no anything will be able to pervert the character of my God that I know so well.
I will trust.
In other news... once again talking about those forbidden bites... I was running around at my friends house. Suddenly it began to sting, like a long needle was being driven into my leg. So I ran to their first aid kit, found some bite cream... and glumped it on. It was gel. Clear as day light. So I just smothered it on, aaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllll over myself. It was incredible. So soothing. So relaxing. But, how the heck did I know it would turn my leg white? Since when does clear gel appear white? All our young people laughed at me all night for my legs that looked like I dropped a bucket of paint on them. I'll let them think that.
Tonight I'm taking out one of the young girls. She's 14. Barely squeeks a word. Her form of communication to me is via SMS. It will be an interesting night.
"Soooooo... how was school?"
"Good."
"Great. What did you do?"
"Stuff." At this point she'd be going a bright crimson red from the awkwardness of talking to an adult.
I love youth ministry :) |
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posted by Samantha Louise
4:40 PM
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Yay for a generation who hide behind a keypad. The Internet and mobiles can certainly bring people together, but it can also put up barriers.
Keep pressing on Sam. Jesus took a hold of you for a reason. There is a prize that God has placed ahead of you. A prize like no other. And even along the way, before reaching that prize, you will inspire others.
And unbeknownst is a word, well done on looking smart.
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Good post, Sam. I'll be praying for you to keep your eyes on HIM.
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007
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Blood.
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Does anybody need a blood transfusion? The rate my body is losing blood, I could buy myself my own blood bank.
These bites that I have obsessively talked about in the past two blog-entries are now bleeding. And these shoes that I also mentioned just the other day has cut up my heel so bad I'm bleeding.
Blood is everywhere.
I'm sorry if that grosses you out, but you didn't have to read. To make you feel better, let me finish with this: Jesus loves you. |
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posted by Samantha Louise
1:25 PM
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Are you related to Job by any chance?
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You sound like one of my clients :p
You're not supposed to scratch!! :p
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ach Sam! I hope your itchyness goes away and your now bleeding bites dont hurt :(
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yeah i cut my head the other day, blood went everywhere, i was working at army, so i had to go to the army hospital, but it was clean, so i didn't need stitches, but i did however get a free tetnis injection! yay. and now it's probablygonna scar forever, a 2 cm long scar on my forhead. hmmm .... nuts. but yeah i know it's hard not to play with the dressing, you pretend to yourself that your just checking it's still on ok, but your really having a play. tisk tisk.
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Tuesday, February 20, 2007
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Shoes.
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Well, I thought it would do me justice to begin my life anew by wearing real shoes. Not having done this in over a year, I must say, it has been painfully pleasant. Yesterday my shopping trip with Wife of Boss was an absolute blessed time, my boss and her agreed to buy me a whole new outfit including a pair of heels. Now, the shop we chose to shop in was Sportsgirl. They paid for EVERYTHING. Without naming a price, I will say, they were quite generous.
Anyways, so I'm wearing shoes for the first time this year, and first time in over a year. They are great. But I'm definitly used to wearing my glorious Havaiana's. I find it strange to have my feet with things wrapped around them, ankles not breathing, toes restricted... and... sadly, falling over as I climb the stairs to my office building. In saying all of this though, the heels are hot, blue and I love them.
Why am I even talking to you all about fashion and shoes and clothes and shopping and fashion? Quite simple. I'm having trouble concentrating whilst I'm sporting this incredible headache that has plauged my head for over a day, and trying not to scratch my skin off as these bites take on a life of their own. Stupid bites. Stupid headache. So yes, talking about the mundane things of life and things that have no eternal purpose is much much easier than trying to be deep and theological.
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posted by Samantha Louise
9:43 AM
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I would love to see a photo of you in your new outfit!
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Have you tried Antihistamines for the bites???
I'm always itchy and my "drug-addicted" boyfriend keeps telling me to take them! :p BUT they Do work! I just avoid them for as long as possible ;)
Telfast are good for bites...
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dear Samantha Louise. I just can't wear heels. I salute you.
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Pedro- Sorry, I am not posting a photo of myself up on the net!
Robyn- Thank you for your handy bite hints :) I found some special cream in the first aid kit :D
Little Miss Moi- I can't wear heels either. I miss my thongs :(
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Hey i love wearing
heels why dont u posy ur new heels..ahh.
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Monday, February 19, 2007
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Monday Morning.
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Here are some interesting facts for you to enjoy on your Monday morning: .. I finished reading Reedeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It was good .. .. I'm now just about to begin Piercing The Darkness by Frank Peretti .. .. On Saturday I slept until 5pm. It was fantastic .. .. My brothers new girlfriend thinks I'm strange. I understand after the incident .. .. Church last night was absolutely powerful. That is all I can say to describe it .. .. Some events have taken place over the weekend that have left me even more confused than I already was .. .. My boss's wife is coming into work in 40 mins to take me shopping for some new clothes. Wow. I love Wife Of Boss .. .. I was attacked by some sort of thing and now I have bites all over my body and it HURTS .. That will do for now. Have a terrific Monday Morning! |
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posted by Samantha Louise
10:07 AM
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Those bites don't sound good, and neither does the clothes shopping - how traumatic!!
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Bites...ow.
Have you read much of Ted Dekker? my wife and I like to read his stuff.
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Ouch, bites... not good.
On Saturday I slept until 5pm. It was fantastic ..
From the night before?
*seriously hopes this comment appears*
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Wesley- I don't know how you could say clothes shopping is traumatic! :o
Chaplain andrews- yes.. the bites are really sore and I have white cream all over my body now.
Ted Dekker, yeh he is a great author! So far I have only read "House" (co-authored with Frank Peretti) and "Blessed Child". Blessed Child was an incredible story! House was okay but not the best. But ahhh Blessed Child... I want to read the book that comes after that "A man called Blessed"
Ashish- As i said before, yes.. ouch.. bites :(
Sadly I did sleep from the night before until 5pm.
And I'm glad your comment appeared :)
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Sunday, February 18, 2007
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Awkward.
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I hate it when you think you are home alone, it's 1am, and you are walking up and down the hallway of your home yelling... yelling... out to God... praying in tounges, and declaring the promises of God. And as you are completely fired up, feeling that you are coming on the verge of a breakthough, you walk into the spareroom to continue your praying only to discover a complete stranger lying in the bed staring wide eyed and is probably wondering whether the person who has been yelling for the past 30 mins and has just entered the room is either completely insane or the sister of their new boyfriend who claims to have a Jesus-loving freak in the family. Ofcourse, I'm the sister of their new boyfriend who is known as the Jesus-loving freak and not the completely insane (hope not..).
Complete awkwardness.
So so so very awkward. |
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posted by Samantha Louise
1:20 AM
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i love cookies & cream ice cream...hope that makes u feel a liddle better xx
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God can use our mistakes, our embarassment, our insanity, He can use anything for His glory, and I am sure He will. He just might have a plan for that girl!
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Go Sam!!!!!
Man, I can imagine the feeling! But even though I can empathise with the feeling (I'd be running :p), I felt excited reading that!
You never know what purpose God had in mind when he had you thinking you were alone ;)
I was reading a book on the train today...an obviously Christian one to anybody who looked...and I felt the lady next to me keep looking, and I kept reading just in case she needed to read something, even though I'd had enough of reading... hope that makes sense...
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Haha thanks to all your encouragement!
And Robyn, you're getting me all fired up now. :) Love it
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thats so awesome louise! even though you think you completely embarrased yourself, you unknowingly witnessed to your sisters boyfriend! the seed is planted :]
God is so good!
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Friday, February 16, 2007
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Identity.
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I am australian. I am daughter. I am grand-daughter. I am sister. I am friend. I am youth leader. I am uni student. I am receptionist. I am thinker. I am dreamer. I am fighter.
I am loved. I am joyful. I am at peace.
These are some of the things that I am. These are some of the things that make me me. To alot of people, I guess, you could find my identity in these labels and in these titles that make up Samantha Louise. But here is where the problem lies, so often, we as people identify ourselves by what we do or who we are with, and yes, even our ministry of involvement.
What happens though if you lose all and are left with nothing? Does that mean you lose your identity?
It is a dangerous place to walk when the foundation of who you are and what you live for comes from what you do and who you associate with. Often when I meet people and I ask "So, tell me about yourself..?" their response would be "Oh I'm a doctor" or "I'm a student..." or "I'm currently un-employed."
What if you labeled yourself and found your identity on something that wasn't positive?
Back in the days my foundation and my labels would come from... I am trash. I am a piece of meat. I am depressed. Was my identity postive? No. And even if my identity was positive, would it be wise to build upon who I am on these facts? No.
If we continue to label ourselves by the things that the world says we are, we are going to run around in circles like a headless chook. A wise man, Jesus, once said.... "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat againt that house, and it fell with a great crash."(Matthew 7:24-27)
Let me ask you... What happens if you lose everything you owned? What happens if you lost your mother and father tragically? What happens if your friend dies suddenly in a car accident? What happens if you lose your job, lose your home, lose everything and you are forced to leave the country, leave your people, and go some place else? Who will you be? Do you think of yourself too much in what you know? What are your foundations? Where are you building your house? I tried finding my identity in my achievements. It didn't work. It lasted for a moment but soon enough I got to that place and I realised I had to find my identity in something else, in something greater. I had to stand firm on the rock. Your identity needs to be found in Christ. This is who I am, and I will shout it from the rooftops, because this is who I am! I am Christ's. I am nothing else. I'm nobody but His. I am Christ's. I'm His daughter. Princess. His friend. He is my Saviour, He is who I should build my life upon. Not on ministry. Not on what I do or how I get by. Not on my relationships. I am Christ's. When you build your life on this, no matter what happens, no matter what you lose, you will still be able to stand and fight because your identity would not have been stolen. For, your identity is found only and truly in Him.
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posted by Samantha Louise
2:30 PM
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I too am Christ's. But this is only because He is my Saviour and King, I have accepted His invitation. Without that, who would I be?
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I dont know what else to say, so I'll leave it at a simple
WOW!!!
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Reading.
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As of late I have been devouring books as if I have suffered and just recovered from anorexia-reading. It's as if some sort of plague has overcame me and I cannot focus on the normal world and I must lock myself into a new world of a book.
I'm loving it.
The other night I was with my sister and a few friends at the movies. It was a good movie. But boy, I could not wait until I could pick up that book again and read for my eyes glory. As soon as we left the cinema I had the book in hand, much to the embarrassment of my friends as they watched me drift into another place- whilst still in the cinema foyer.
From the beginning of the year, these are the books that I've indulged in thus far:
Waking Lazarus, T.L Hines
Monster, Frank Peretti
House, Frank Peretti & Ted Dekker
Smith Wigglesworth on Spiritual Gifts, Smith Wigglesworth
Blessed Child, Ted Dekker
The Voice of God, Cindy Jacobs
Prophet, Frank Peretti
The Visitation, Frank Peretti
The Supernatural Life, Cindy Jacobs
Protecting Your Home From Spiritual Darkness, Chuck Pierce
Possessing the Gates of the Enemy, Cindy Jacobs
Hearts of Fire, The Voice of the Martyrs
Enemy Access Denied, John Bevere
and ofcourse...
The Word Of God, the Lord Almighty.
My latest book that is sitting next to me right now (and waiting so patienty for me to enjoy!) is Redeeming Love, Francine Rivers.
Yes, I love books. I love reading. Whenever I tell people that though, they never believe me. Apparently I don't look the "smart" sort.
What books have you read or what book are you currently reading? |
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posted by Samantha Louise
12:30 AM
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You'll almost inspired me to do another blog post on reading... but incase I don't, for the record:
The Thurber Carnival (fiction-funny stuff and short stories)
The Pleasures of God - John Piper (long haul, but facinating and I'm learning a fair bit)
Creative Living - Barry Chant (getting there, I've heard lots before)
and I just finished Boy by Roald Dahl (to change it up a bit)
oh... and A Year with CS Lewis, but I'll be going on that for a while.
you can see what I'm reading at
http://readandblue.allsaidanddone.com
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I am not a great reader of books. But I have read Roald Dahl's Boy which was really enoyable.
The last book I read was Eoin Cameron's "Rolling into the world - memoirs of a ratbag child". It was quite funny and amazing how mischievous one kid can be (it is an auto on his childhood and there is a sequel).
One book I got given for Christmas is Ben Elton's "Chart Throb" which I'm not finding an easy read - it's quite crude at times.
I've also read some short fictional kids sotries - they come with packs of Green's cake mixes or similar. One was by Paul Jennings. I enjoyed them all, short, imaginative and all different.
And the Bible too. That's my most regular read.
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Spy Catcher - the candid autobiography of a former Assistant Director of MI5 - Peter Wright.
It's a fantastic read, I must say. Always good to get the real version of what really happened.
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I'll have to check out each of those books you three all mentioned :)
Thanks!
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I am in between books, but I bought a fantastic one today called
'Jane Eyre' by Charlotte Bronte.
'Tarantula' by Bob Dylan is on my want-list!
'Temple' by Matthew Reilly is on my current reading pile.
'Whoever You Choose To Love' is an absolutely fantastic book written by Colette Paul!
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Thursday, February 15, 2007
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Name change.
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 Who does God say you are?
Or, what do you feel God says about You?
I remember a time when God was stirring my heart and speaking to me about what He thinks of me. He was teaching me that He knew me before I was born, that I was chosen, apointed, that I had a purpose and a plan. He was also teaching me about the meaning of my name. I've decided I want to start using my first name on this. So here it is, my first name is Samantha and my middle name is Louise.
Anyways, God was teaching me how He chose my names for me, that there was a reason behind it. Samantha means "hearer of God's voice" and Louise means "Glory at War" or "Famous Warrior". I was so excited to learn all of this! My whole life I had such a bad image on myself, I always thought myself to be 'different' or a bit 'weird'. But as God began to reveal His thoughts of me, my self-image changed and I began to walk different and talk different. No longer would I make fun of myself but I would walk with my head held high knowing that God was my daddy, I was His princess, and heck... I was a famous warrior who heard God's voice.
As these revelations began to unfold I remember one day receiving a package in the mail. I never receive packages in the mail! Ofcourse I was excited. I grabbed the package, ran into my room, closed the door behind me and tore the package wrapping apart. My eyes were delighted to be admiring a new book in my hand, The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun. I had been wanting this book for months and finally I received it! Opening the front cover I notice that inscripted in beautiful black fountain ink was a letter from a good friend of mine. He wrote that he felt to send me this book, that he wanted to bless me and encourage me, that he loved me as a sister and it was just beautiful. But I could not help but stare at how he greeted me. Rather than use my first name, Hearer of God's Voice, he addressed me with my old internet alias as a joke. It was along the lines of Weird Girl. You see, when I chose this name I did not think highly of myself, my thoughts of myself were not God thoughts. It was ironic because the book arrived in my hands the very week that God was teaching me who I was.
Before I knew it tears were stinging my eyes. They began to stream down my face as I was once again reminded I'm a weird girl. I cried and cried and I was also embarrassed that I once called myself that. Because I knew, only now, that that wasn't who I am, that isn't who God says I am.
Two days later I was having lunch with a friend and we were talking about the book The Heavenly Man. With great excitement I exclaimed that I received this book in the mail! I pulled it out of my bag to show him but was then reminded of being labled "weird girl". Hesitantly I took the book, not wanting my friend to see what was in the front cover. Opening the front cover I peered once again to see the words that were written. I read the words with a mixture of confusion, horror, excitement, and overwhelming praise.
My eyes were opened wide.
I was shocked.
I choked on my food.
I even fell off my chair in the surprise.
The letter that was written in beautiful black fountain ink had been changed. "Weird girl" greeting no longer existed. There were no smudge marks. It just, disappeared. And in replacement to "weird girl" it now had the words...
"Dear Sam!"
Large cursive writing. Black fountain ink. Sam. Hearer of God's voice. With an exclaimation mark to highlight the love that God has for me, to highlight the thoughts that God has for me. Tears once again stung my eyes, not out of embarrassment, but out of love for My Saviour.
Labels: Being with Jesus, Me |
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posted by Samantha Louise
9:40 AM
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Sam,
great post...and God has a lot more to say about you! Check out Paul's words to the church. He tells us some amazing things that God says about us. There's much more than you have even shared in this post! Get into the Bible...there's more!
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Pleased to meet you Sam. I'm glad you are not embarassed about who you are. I promise to call you Sam every time and not some other name that misrepresents you.
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Dear Mike,
Just want to say thanks for what you said. You're right, there is so much more that God says about us! Thanks for stirring my heart to read the Word even more so :)
Also, i'm curious... how did you come across my little blog? I checked your blog out and I like what I see.. you're a pastor heh? You seem pretty cool. Definitly not old in my books :)
Dear Paul,
shuddup man you already knew my real name!
:p
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Sam, found you just doing "next blog". there are times that's not a good idea, but I do find some good sites....like yours.
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Sam that's beautiful! :) Now I don't have to worry about slipping ;)
You're definitely not the girl I first met! :)
It's like you have ALWAYS been that warrior, you just had to realise that, and shake off the dust to see how awesome you truly are! Like Aladdin's lamp... it was always there, hidden in the dust, but one day it is discovered, and the rest is history ;) Not that its a good comparison to you though :p
Luv ya warrior!
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Hey Sam
Thanks for visiting my photoblog
Thats fantastic you can now see yourself more in God's eyes, self image is a big deal and can really effect the way you live. Knowing that you are God's precious is important, may your life reflect your new revelation.
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Oh and do you know Christop or just his blog?
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Great story Sam, and thanks for sharing it. Did you like Heavenly Man? I found it a disturbing read - in the way that I need to be disturbed and challenged. I won't forget it.
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Samantha Louise,
Another wonderful post on a wonderful blog. I've been reading your blog in bursts for a few months now and I'm continually surprised by the passionate, emotion-charged way that you write.
Keep it up. It's nice.
-Paul.
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Robyn- Thanks love. You have always been a massive encouragement in my life. We must do coffee soon!
Johnman- you are also very encouraging :) And no, I don't know Cristoph... just stumbled across his blog :)
Christina- I loved the Heavenly Man. It put so much things in my life into perspective! It was incredible. And I know what you mean. It wasn't exactly a 'light' read. More challenging than anything.
virtuallypaul- What you wrote, you have no idea how much that means. Thank you so much. I hope you keep coming back and reading :) i read your blog too!
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coffee would be awesome! :)
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You should never be afraid to be who God has called YOU to be! Its amazing, this is something I have been over-thinking these past few weeks also! Thankyou Samantha Louise, for being the woman that God made you!
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Wednesday, February 14, 2007
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Diet Coke.
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 Diet Coke.
I drink it in the morning, I drink it in the afternoon and I drink it in the evening. I love it.
Diet Coke.
I love a chilled bottled in my hand. I love feeling the coolness drizzle down my throat. I love it.
Diet Coke.
I'm addicted.
And I need to quit my love for Diet Coke.
As of today... I quit. (attempt #326) Labels: Food |
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posted by Samantha Louise
9:51 AM
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Drink Apple Juice. It doesn't contain Nutrasweet.
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Hahaha! I've never been a coke fan... actually my body doesn't even like soft drink these days...
But I think I've turned into a once a day Beraldo coffee addict... could be worse :p
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Lev 10:9 Drink no wine nor strong drink, thou, nor thy sons with thee, when ye go into the tent of meeting.
MORAL: Don't drink diet coke at church.
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The way I look at it, if it doesn't have sugar in it, then the only thing in it that your body needs is water.
(I also struggle with addicition to soft drinks!)
Maybe you could give up Coke for Lent?
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Monday, February 12, 2007
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Musicals.
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Loose ends are tied. Things are buried. The old has gone, and the new has come in. I left the meeting feel a tinge of sadness, sadness that things have come this way, but relief also flooded in. Happiness with the knowledge that this has all come out for the good, for the better. Afterwards, I was at the church office doing what I do every sunday night after church, cleaning. Broom in hand. Complete silence. Focussed on the task at hand. When suddenly off in the distant I could hear melodies from musicals that I loved as a child. Before I knew it, flooding the office were hundreds of dancers and singers. The broom quickly turned into a dancing apparatus. Joy burst from deep within my stomach, through my mouth, in beautiful songs from musicals such as Annie and the Sound of Music. I began to use the broom as I danced across the kitchen, belting out tunes for my audience to hear. Tone deaf songs with unco-ordinated twirls across the tiles. Smiles on face. Glee in heart. I could see it, I was on stage, ooing and aahing those watching. As my imagination continued to run wild I was interuppted by a staff member who was sitting in his office un-announced... "Louise, you are one funny person, how could I not love you?" The music stopped. Dancers and singers disappeared. My dancing apparatus changed back into a broom. And my face quickly burned a crimson red.
"This is why I don't sing on stage..." I quickly muttered. And hurriedly I returned to my task, office cleaning, silence once again becomming my friend. Yet, as I swept the the floor, I couldn't help but smile at my moment of being caught. Labels: Me |
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posted by Samantha Louise
10:49 AM
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+19 for being untuned and unco and not caring about what people think.
-10 for mentioning the sound of music.
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Lol. I only dance with my eyes shut. [Probably because I can't see the horrible looks on the face of watchers.] I can imagine that whole scene as you described and I just burst out laughing! :)
When am I going to get MY 5 questions to answer? :D
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Encore! Encore!
Remember to never stop dancing for the Lord of the dance.
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Saturday, February 10, 2007
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Smile.
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I'm still in the midst of a trial. It's still a bumpy road that I'm walking. But I cannot help but smile. I look back at the past few weeks (or perhaps year!) and looking back I have such a joy in my heart, I feel a peace is all over me, and I'm grinning ear from ear. I'd do it again. I'd cry those tears again. I'd let my heart hurt again. (but I would appreciate not going through that again! haha) Because, I can see how much God has done in my life the past few weeks. I can see His Glory in all of this. I can see how much He has taught me, stretched me, spoken to me. I'm in a new place with Him, and I love it. I'm thankful for this time, and now I can finally feel that I can move forward now. Forget what has happened, and keep on going. I will not let one person rob my destiny.
Over the past few days I've had a few well meaning people approach me offering their advice. I love their hearts and I love that they do care, but I had to make a choice to close my ears to their advice. Don't get me wrong, I know the importance of the advice of people around you, but sometimes you just need to be wise in what you let in. They were speaking comforting words such as "It's going to be okay, you'll get through this, it may hurt for quite awhile but you'll get through this..." I see what they are saying, and I do agree... yet, I already am okay. I'm more than okay. I'm on fire. And no, it will not hurt awhile. I will not waste my time crying any more tears over this. I've done that. I've done the crying, I've done the hurting, I've done the anger. And that's good. But now it is time to move forward. I will not let one incident rob me of my future. I will not let one incident, an extremely crappy incident, rob me of what God wants to show me in the next few months.
I'm loving life. And I'm loving Jesus. That's all there is to it.Labels: Being with Jesus, Hard times |
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posted by Samantha Louise
3:33 PM
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Reminds me of Kylie Minogue at the moment... all fake smiles, but that look in her eyes tell's me she is killer hurting.
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This is the best post I have read from anyone in awhile. It made my day when I read it. Thanks, keep it up.
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Thanks chaplainandrews! :)
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Friday, February 9, 2007
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Broken promises.
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 Firstly I would like to begin this with a public apology to yours truly, Ashish. On the 24th Jan 2007 he asked me five questions that I needed to answer. And I never did. Until... now. So here they are... the five wonderful and weird and confusing questions from Ashish!
1) By a chance of fate, you and Shakira exchange places for a day, what would be the 10 things you do on this day?
If Shakira and I were to exchange places for a day I would... Take all her money and go shopping, take all her money and give it away to people who need it, try on all her clothes and take the ones I love, become a christian, announce to the world that I am now a christian, go to a church and preach, ask the Holy Spirit to use me powerfully in healing, shock the world because of my transformation and new modest sense of clothing, eat lots of food and make her fat.
2) Why are islands called as islands?
Good question Ashish. It may seem hard to believe, but Latin aqua, "water," is related to island, which originally meant "watery land." Aqua comes almost unchanged from Indo-European *akwā-, "water." *Akwā- became *ahwō- in Germanic by Grimm's Law and other sound changes. To this was built the adjective *ahwjō-, "watery." This then evolved to *awwjō- or *auwi-, which in pre-English became *ēaj-, and finally ēg or īeg in Old English. Island, spelled iland, first appears in Old English in King Alfred's translation of Boethius about A.D. 888; the spellings igland and ealond appear in contemporary documents. The s in island is due to a mistaken etymology, confusing the etymologically correct English iland with French isle. Isle comes ultimately from Latin īnsula "island," a component of paenīnsula, "almost-island," whence our peninsula.
3) If you were offered the following choices - 1) Convincing all men on the planet into wearing Diapers, 2) Conning 7 monks into thinking you are the Dalai Llama and looting them of ALL possesions they have on them, 3) Marrying Lord Voldemort - which one would you choose and why? [You have to choose one!]
Option one... It'd be absolutely hilarious. And also, I don't want to pretend I'm the Dalai Llama.... and uh... Lord Voldemort isn't exactly the sort of dude I'd be attracted to.
4) Which costume do remember wearing first on Halloweens and why?
Well here in Australia we dont' really do Halloweens. Although, I am noticing kids these days wandering around in costumes on the day trying to trick-or-treat when households don't really give a stuff. Besides, if we were to make Halloween a big thing, I'd be totally not into it... It's what I would call... going against what I believe! Unless I dressed up as Moses or something?
But anyways, I do remember my first costume as a child. I used to LOVE dressing up as a native american indian. I had an obsession with them and you'd find me running around in the backyard with my neighbour... he would be dressed up as a cowboy, and myself as an Indian. I even rocked up to primary school wearing my costume. That didn't go down well with the teachers.
5) Why the heck did Frodo journey to Mount Doom on foot when he could have used the Air service?
No idea. Ask the script writers? Labels: blogging |
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posted by Samantha Louise
10:54 AM
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Kewl! Now you have to ask me 5 questions as per the rules! [Which you forgot to post incidentally!] :)
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Good effort on even understanding those questions! Who are all those people?
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Police.
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 Hello, my name is Louise, nanna driver. I'm one of those people that hate speeding, hate road rage, hate breaking any road-laws. Often, my friends would tease me and call me a nanna because I love to drive 5 k's under the speed limit, and I'm always extra careful.
Since I've had my license I have sped, by accident and only 5 k's over the speed limit, three times. Since my license, I have only ever had three speeding tickets.
Today, I was driving along all so merry. Being such a good christian and leader (please note my sarcasim) I'm on my mobile on speaker phone to a young girl under my care who has recently decided to follow Christ. We're happily chatting when suddenly I notice an un-marked police car flashing their lights at me.
Oh-oh.
I quickly tell the girl that I need to go because "Uhhh... I've been pulled over by the cops....", and pull over on the side of the road. A busy road. A main road. Near lights, so that every damn vehicle that drove past could look at me and gawk their beady little eyes.
The police officer walks up to my window, and I wind down my window and smile innocently at him.
"Hello..." I smile and stare at him with puppy dog eyes. "How has your day been?"
He greets me with a hello and a "You do know what you did wrong don't you?"
I cough and reply "Yes.. I know... I was on my phone.. and I'm really really really sorry, I shouldnt' have done it, it was wrong. It was against the law. And I wont' do it ..." My nervousness calls me to ramble.
The police officer interrupts "Okay okay... I do have to fine you though... " He then begins to tell me the horror stories of talking on your mobile whilst driving and explains to me that it just isn't on and that I need to learn.
I learnt.
5 minutes, $145 fine and 3 demerit points later I continue driving down the road. Reach for the mobile and call my mum "Mum! I got pulled over by a cop for talking on the phone!"
"Honey,... what are you doing now?" Says my mother.
"Oh crap!" I hang up the phone and chuck it to the other side of the car.
Labels: Me |
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posted by Samantha Louise
12:12 AM
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Lol. Good thing I don't know how to drive! [Though the axe will fall soon now!]
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Only 3 speeding tickets? Um, actually that's not that great :p. I've never used a mobile while driving at all - I couldn't handle it. But I do know I have spoken to you while you were driving a few times :p
Spewing about the fine. That's a lot of havianas.
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Thursday, February 8, 2007
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Roller-skating.
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 Today I had a thirteen year old girl ask me if I could take her rollerskating.
"I have a buy-one-get-one-free!" She exclaims, giggling.
How could I say no to such excitement and generosity?
So yes, unco-ordinated me, will be skating with this beautiful brown-haired girl.
Labels: Young People |
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posted by Samantha Louise
4:42 PM
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Who's buying and who's free? :p
That will be two beautiful brown-haired girls skating then yes?
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Warrior and the juvy kid.
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 I love that I can wake up in the morning and have a purpose in my step and vision in my eyes. I love that I can even in the midst of trials know that God is supreme, He is faithful, and that living and dying for the Cause is worth it. Every moment of it.
Last night was great, it was incredible. There is nothing better than watching young people have a passion and a desire for God.
These young people are my inspiration, my heroes. Alot of them come from such broken lives, broken families, broken hearts. Yet there is a drive in them, a fire, that allows them to continue to stand on their feet and keep on fighting. No matter what.
One girl, I will call her Warrior for the sake of this blog entry, inspires me to lay my life down for the King. By God's grace I was able to meet her a couple of years ago, and I can tell you, that since that meeting my life has been incredibly changed. See, a few years ago I would spend my time hanging out in the youth detention center. You know, a place where the so-called "bad kids" would be locked up. And yes, alot of them did do "bad" things such as steal cars, stab people, kidnap people, and so forth. But even though they were "bad" in society, their hearts were so... beautiful. Alot of them challenged me as to why I live my life the way I live my life. Alot of them forced me to go to a new place in my relationship with God and to grow as a christian.
Anyways, back to the story... I would hang out with these kids and one particular evening I met a young girl who was trying to hide and blend in with the couch cushions. There was so much fear in her eyes. It was her first night being locked-up and she hadn't yet been sentenced. We spent the night talking and she shared her heart with me, it was a special moment that will forever be in my memories. Over the next month that she was locked-up we bonded and she took a favour to me, always opting to choose to sit next to me throughout the activities. Once she was released however, I lost contact with her.
Yet, I just could not get her off my heart. Or her family. Her family were just ingrained in me, I had never met them, but God had given me such a love for that family. So I began to pray and ask God for an opportunity to know the family, to somehow, leave a mark there.
A few months later, by events that can only be described as God's intervention, this young girl and I connected outside of lock-up. Her and her best friend, also an ex-juvy kid, took an interest in God and began to follow me to church, and cell/life/small group.
This is where Warrior comes into it.
One night I'm at the young girls house and I'm meeting her family. Her mum, so beautiful so precious... and yes, who I still spend time with... she is a single mother with 8 children. Four different dads. None of the children know their fathers. Life sometimes throw curve balls at us that hurt. I'm in the lounge room waiting for the young girl to be ready and come with me to cell/life/small group. As I'm waiting, a loud-mouthed with the vocabulary of a truck driver, peroxided blonde hair, short unsightly mini-skirt, wearing a top that was extremely unappropriate in so many ways walks out in the room and introduces herself to me.
"Heeyyyyy, I'm Warrior" She says. Immediately I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit tell me that this girl was special. That she stood out. Was marked. Loved. Wanted.
A few weeks later I receive a phone call from Warrior.
"Heeyy, I was wondering if I could come along to what my sister goes to..."
Sure! Definitly!
That night found Warrior, the girl, and the girls best friend in my car. On the way home from small/life/cell group the two ex-juvy kids began acting up. Swearing. Throwing things. Threatening to throw expensive items out of the window. So, ofcourse, I put my foot down and tell them that isn't on, and well, they didn't like that. Next thing I know, as I'm driving 60 k's down the road, the car door is open and the two girls jump out of my car! I quickly pull over, call out to the girls, and watch them laugh at me as they displayed items that they had stolen from my car, and then hurriedly they ran off.
Great.
Silently praying I pull out of the curb and continue driving Warrior home. And then, I hear sniffles. Crying? Sobbing? Looking in my mirror I see Warrior sitting in the back seat with tears streaming down her eyes.
"I don't want to be like my sister!" She screams. "You dont' have to be.." I tell her quietly. "I'm sick of her acting like this! And it's always ME who pays! The teachers at school think I'm going to be like her! I don't want to get locked up! I don't want to be a bad person! I don't want to put stress on my mum! I don't want to act like that! I don't want to be bad! I want to be good! I want to BE GOOD!" She vents. And then, quietly sobbing, she asks "How... How do I become a christian?" That was it. The Holy Spirit got her. She was captured by the Love of God. I can testify that Warrior has not been the same since that night. She has grown and changed and matured in such an incredible way. She is my inspiration. Against all odds she has stood and she has fought. Her love for God is amazing, her maturity and passion is one beyond her years. Since that night she has seen many of her friends meet Jesus too and also seen them transformed. Not only that, but she is an A+ student, running programs, leading others in her school. Modesty and purity is a passion of hers. Her words drip with the love of Jesus and encouragement. She is full of strength, dignity, grace. Warrior is amazing. And I am honoured that I could be her leader! Oh, and incase you are wondering, I still see her sister and her sisters best friend. They both have babies now and seem to want to let go of their wild ways. I love those girls just as much as anyone else. Labels: Used by God, Young People |
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posted by Samantha Louise
2:26 PM
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That is so awesome! You say SHE has a hold on her life... she's not the only one ;) hehe!
Love ya girl! :)
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How does God see us? All that stuff about her appearance, and she is "special"? Talk about not seeing like man does.
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Wednesday, February 7, 2007
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It's back.
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Exciting! Breath of fresh air!
Today everything has started back. I'm in anticipation. I'm looking forward to it. I cannot wait to see how God will move.
First prayer meeting of the year and it was awesome! I feel so so so blessed to be a part of this ministry. Woke up at 5am to get to the prayer meeting, I'm now at work, trying so hard not to fall asleep.
Tonight Life group/cell group/small group/ whatever you want to call it, starts back tonight. Cannot wait.
That is all.Labels: Young People |
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posted by Samantha Louise
4:00 PM
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'm now at work, trying so hard not to fall asleep.
Drink coffee and THEN go to sleep. You can at least say you tried! :P
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Close your eyes for one minute and look what happens - all these new posts!
I know how exciting a breath of fresh air can be. Even a physical one in the country morning. It's so foreign to everyday life, and yet, it's actually how it SHOULD be.
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Tuesday, February 6, 2007
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Thoughts.
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Running, running, running. Do not stop running. Keep looking ahead. Keep looking to the Cross. Don't look at your surroundings, don't look at what's happening, just keep your eyes focused on the goal.
I feel joy bubbling over. I feel a well of emotion. I feel like I'm going to burst. I want to sing, I want to dance, I want to yell in glee. I want to hug those close to me, I want to cry from joy.
Circumstances suck, yes. In fact, it seems like my whole world has toppled down. Life isn't what you expect, but then, since when do we base things on our natural circumstance?
The Truth is, it doesn't matter what happens. Doesn't matter what comes your way. God still reigns. He is supreme. He is great. All powerful. All knowing.
Who am I to question God?
Who are we to put Him in a box?
Let Him do what He wants, ask for His will, His way. His purpose. His plans.
Faith. Not being moved by what you see, but stepping forward into what you know.
Trust. Letting go, surrendering, giving your all into His Hands.
Standing. Will we stand when it is rough? Will we stand when the world throws at you the impossibles? Do you believe that God can change the impossible? Just a little faith moves the mountains. Just a little faith will see the giant fall down. Just a little faith will see the walls come crashing to a heap.
Will you believe? Will you stand? Will you fight? Labels: Being with Jesus, Hard times |
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posted by Samantha Louise
11:55 AM
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Faith isn't always stepping forward into what you know - sometimes you just don't know what you are stepping into, you just heard a familiar voice, or even, you didn't hear a "no". Do seek confirmation. God will move the mountain.
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When I say 'know' I'm not talking about a physicaly knowing, or even a knowing in terms of cirucmstanitally/naturally.
I'm talking about a knowing of who God is, of what His Word says, on what Truth is.
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Monday, February 5, 2007
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James Burke.
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Tired. So very tired.
Alot to write, but I simply cannot bebothered. However, I will say this, today I was walking down the street on my lunch break at work... and I walk past a window to a coffee shop. Jumped in a fright. First glance I thought it was this guy, Burkes, I read his blog.
But no, I was wrong.
To check out his photo, who I thought was the guy in the coffee shop window but boy was I mistaken, click here.
.Labels: blogging, Friends |
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posted by Samantha Louise
5:38 PM
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hey louise,
sorry it took so long to post this comment but im not a "religious" blogger. god showed me the vision and the revival he has for this generation, my city perth and an increase at my uth group,
it was a great experience, did u attend any of the shakers conferiences, if so wa was ur experience???
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I don't get it. Is there anything to get?
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Incidentally, I don't have hair anymore. That said, I wasn't in any coffee shops yesterday. You were walking around the suburb I call home, tho?
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Saturday, February 3, 2007
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Pork.
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Today marked a moment that will forever be written in the history pages.
The morning found myself awoken, once again, to the forbidden craving. I thought it was over, but boy was I wrong, all I could think about was pork and apple sauce sandwhich. I didn't even know for sure if it existed, I never had it in my life, I have no idea where this craving sprung upon.
So, whilst trying to tame this craving, I adventured to my local shopping center with friend in hand.
"You don't understand! This feeling WILL NOT leave until I EAT IT!" I tell her.
"But it doesn't exist!" She exclaims.
"Well... let's just check the food court... JUST IN CASE..." I persist.
Sure enough, I stand before the wonderful sandwhich franchise, and on the board in blinking lights for my heart to see was "Roast pork and apple sauce sandwhich". My body began to do a dance in the antipication that at last I will endeavour to eat this food that has never been placed in my mouth before. As the lady behind the counter carefully and lovingly made the sandwhich my taste buds began to sing and saliva was forming at the mouth. I look nervously at my friend, small smile creeping upon my face. This is it. This is a moment of history. I pay the money and with awe held the sandwhich in my hand. It was time.
Sitting down on a nearby seat, I gaze longingly at this sandwhich that was now becoming a reality. For so long it was only a dream, but this dream was now in my hand, a dream that is alive. Slowly, afraid that it will disappear somehow, I moved the sandwhich closer and closer to my mouth. It was now touching my lips, I could feel my teeth sinking into the fresh bread, fresh pork, fresh apple sauce. It was now in my mouth, taste buds were cheering, my body was doing fits as the craving won over, eyes are closed as I indulged upon this food that had invaded my thought life. Pure bliss. Perfection. Apple sauce droozing down my throat, chewing on pork, fresh bread felt so soft in my mouth.
I loved it.
Now that my craving as been satisfied, and I was obediant to my desire, I can move on. Move on to other foods. The sandwhich was wonderful, delightful, excellent, so very very yummy. Somehow though, just to savour the moment, I think it will be my first taste of the sandwhich... and my last.
Yes, it's time to have a love affair with other foods now.
Cheese anyone?Labels: Food, Friends |
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posted by Samantha Louise
8:31 PM
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Finally we have an end to the craving. How about doing the meme I set you?
Btw, the image you posted is hosted by tripod and so it only shows the Tripod logo instead of the image. Better download the image and upload it to blogger or another hosting such as Photobucket. :)
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haha next time i write... I'll do the meme thing ashish.
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Man does not live on pork sandwiches alone. I love it when you dream of eating something, and then the opportunity arrives. Oh the anticipation. I was driving with my mate across the nullabor and when we were about an hour away from a roadhouse for lunch, I had this thought of eating a crumbed chicken drumstick and a large garden salad. And they had it! Oh it was good. That doesn't happen very often. Very rarely is there something specific that I desire. How many times can you put your finger on what it is that you want?
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mmm...compulsive reading. wish i could whip up such an appetite. sadly, being insomniac and insufferably ravenous don't usually mix :(
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Friday, February 2, 2007
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Craving.
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 I'm hungry. So very very hungry. Two nights ago I was sleeping peacefully, having blissful dreams, cat purring by my side. But then suddenly, with no warning, I awoke to the grumble of my stomach. "What the!?" I thought to myself, as I saw the clock blinking at me 3am...go back to sleep...it's 3am..GO TO SLEEP...3am...3am...3:01am...3:01am...GO TO SLEEP...GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!But I just couldn't, I could not for the life of me shut my eyes and enter into la-la-dream land again. Why is that? Because I felt this strange sensation over take my body, it began to invade me, over-ride me, it... took over. What was this strange sentation? Craving.I'll say that again... Craving. Not only does the forbidden craving mess with your body, but it messes with your mind. Here I am, wanting to sleep but cannot sleep because 1) My body had a... craving. and 2) I was beginning to see things.Things? You say. Yes, things. I'm lying on my bed, stomach moaning, body having craving fits, and in front of my eyes I see pork chops dancing, doing the waltz. "Ohhhh how I would love pork chops right now..." Says the stomach. But wait, it did not end there. No. As the pork chops danced and I noticed sandwhich bread skipping over to them, hugging them, and I watched as the pork chops nestled between two pieces of bread. "Pork sandwhich.......ohhhh...." My stomach cries louder. Just as I thought this couldn't get any worst, I watch as APPLE SAUCE/BABY FOOD is drizzled inside the sandwhich. "Pork sandwhich with apple sauce/ baby food... ahhh..."It was getting too much for me. This craving. It was beginning to ruin my life. Never in my entire 22-years have I eaten a pork sandwhich with apple sauce. Never. I'm not sure if they even exist... But two days later, the craving is still there, still longing, moaning, groaning. I don't think it'll ever stop pestering me until I allow my taste buds to indulge on this sandwhich. And when they do indulge, you'll be the first to know. Labels: Food |
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posted by Samantha Louise
11:57 AM
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All I can say is MMMMMM! I'll have a bit of crackle too. Your resistance is rather impressive.
You do know that God has made Pork clean to eat don't you? ;)
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Awaits for the next post .. like ur taste buds craving for that sandwich.
Pork .. not my idea of fun :|.
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Content.
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posted by Samantha Louise
12:21 AM
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Content? You are content?? You must be the richest person in the world!
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great post. you are a gifted writer and thinker. thank you.